PAPATV

Cravings

Ana's cravings are in high gear.

"Know what sounds really good right now?  Sushi."

Except she says sushi...S-u-s-h-i.......

"That does sound good."

"Remember that one place we went?"

"When?"

"That one place."

"In LA?"

"In San Fran-cis-co!"

"For your birthday, you mean?"

"Yes.  Remember how was?  Was so good."

"I didn't really like it."

"But you ate...Remember, they make it funny."

Yes, baby, they sure did.

"Maybe we can go again after Sienna's born."

"Totally..."

What are you craving?  One pregnant friend told me she craved Ricola.  Another wanted Vitamin water, Dragon-fruit flavor.  Another: chocolate-wafer cooks with crunch sticks.

Oh, wait.  That's Ana again.

I'm craving french fries and ranch dressing.  And Peanut M&M's.  And Jack Stack BBQ.

Kansas City, are you listening?

-- PAPA

Friendly Reminder

"Did you do your Kegel's today?"

"I forgot, baby."

"Do I have to put a note on the toilet?"

"Might be a good idea."

Okaaaaay...

******************************

And Ana's reaction?

Watch it now.

Conversation with Pregnant MAMA

Lazy Sunday morning.  Ana's just coming to life. 

"What time is it?"

"10:15."

"Wow..."

She smiles.  Hugs her pillow closely.

"I used to like sleep.  Now I LOVE it."

Conversation with Pregnant MAMA

Ana and I are settling into bed for the night when we're interrupted by a loud noise.  Unfortunately, one of us is the guilty party.

I turn over.  "Did you fart?"

"No.  Did you?"

"No."

"Maybe it was Nikki."

"Nikki's sleeping in the other room.  Remember?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Babe..., it was you."

"No, it wasn't."  She laughs.

"So who was it?"

"It was the baby."

Conversation with Pregnant MAMA

Ana's lying on the couch, laptop perched on her stomach.  She's skimming articles on maternity clothes, blossoming breasts, and bloating.  Suddenly, she looks up.

"Baby, what's 'bulge'?"

I think about it for a minute.

"Let's say you're overweight and your fat's hanging over -- that's a bulge."

"Thanks for the example."

...

Smooth move, Papa.

How to silence a Pregnant MAMA

Ana and I are on our way down to San Diego for Easter.  Cars are passing us on both sides.  Ana's on the edge of her seat.

"Baby, you're driving so slow!"

"Sweetie, I'm practicing...for the baby."

Conversation with Pregnant MAMA

Ana and I are lying in bed post alarm clock.  I roll over and start circling her baby belly with my finger.

"So did you sleep well?"

"Like a rock.  Right away.  I have no concerns anymore."

"Good...  You shouldn't.  You have a good job, a great relationship, you live in a nice area."

"I know.  I just don't like my toothpaste."

[Image via Sunshinecity.]