Swim, baby, swim

Recently, we started prenatal classes at Golden Bridge Yoga, which offers a more natural and holistic alternative to the more traditional antiseptic hospital class room.  Instead of folding chairs pushed together and harsh fluorescent lights, we relax on cushion couches spread out on the hardwood floor.  Lighting is soft and minimal.  Mantras spill out of the speakers of a small Ipod.  Marney, our teacher, sits cross legged on the floor.  She welcomes us with a smile that lights up her face.

This is more than a class; it's an experience.  As first time parents I'm immediately put to ease. 

Inside, though, I'm a big kid just itching to start.  My mind is charged.  This is something fresh, exciting, new.  I'm an addict for novelty. 

There are about six other couples in the room, mostly mid to late 30's.  (It's LA, after all.)  They hold hands, rub their pregnant bellies, and smile.  Their faces glow.  It's a reawakening of love.  It's couples on their first date.

I remember when Ana first showed me the class handout.  She had just come from prenatal yoga.  I looked at it and put it aside.  She immediately snatched it back up.  It could be the Bible.

"Did you read it?"
"I read that it was $210 dollars."

Which is funny considering what I wrote HERE.  But, of course, there was never any question of me taking the class. 

We are here for Sienna.  We are here for beautiful, perfect, and healthy.

Things get exciting quickly.  One of the biggest fears for a first time mother is pain.  This class is about laying fears to rest.  It's about finding calmness.  It's about empowerment. 

Instead of concentrating on fear, Marney asks "How do you handle your pain?"  Great question!  I grab my notebook and look around the room, ignoring the obvious fact that the question isn't directed at me but my pregnant counterparts.

First up is Angela whose covered with tattoos and, sure enough, she uses this as a jumping off point.   "I get tattooed a lot," she says to our laughter. "I don't know if I can compare getting a tattoo to having a baby but it's something to relate to, I hope."

Marney smiles and says "Yes, good point."  She will say this often throughout class.  "Good point."  "Excellent question."  It is reassuring and encourages us to more sharing.  We feel valid.

The sharing continues.  One woman says she focuses on something in the room and lets her pain fall away.  Another says it's okay to acknowledge pain, but allow it go through you, spread it throughout your whole body not just one area.  Another says she lights candles.  The woman beside her says she's created a play-list of songs she know the words to and "I sing them."  Another finds peace with aromatherapy.  Ana shares the secret of her essential oils.  "Lavender's really good."

"Yes, good point.  Good point."

Just when I'm about to lose faith with all these naturalistic yogi ways for addressing pain, we get to the last woman.  She looks around the room and throws up her arms.  "I don't do well with pain at all.  I go banshee."

Finally!  A woman after my own heart.  I make a mental note to buy her an Acai smoothie or some prayer beads after class.

Marney continues.  "It's important to remember pain doesn't last forever."  She smiles then adds, "A baby WILL come out, you WILL see a baby."

We smile.  Rub bellies.  Kiss foreheads.

Marney passes around a handout with more options for helping ease pain.  We talk about exercise, about breathing, changing position, massage, running baths and, yes, acupuncture. 

I immediately cross that off my list.

Marney continues.  "It's important to put the pain into perspective.  It's pain into production... Something will be the result...your baby."  She smiles at Heather whose expecting twins. "Or babies...It's not like a headache where there's only pain and the result is a headache."

...Of course, funny also helps.

"So work on your humor," Marney adds. "Or get yourself a funny friend."

Ana squeezes my hand.  Nice.  So now I'm her "funny friend".  Why can't she squeeze my hand to "or the guy who blows your mind away with hot, tantric sex."

From pain we move to natural birth.  Marney guides us on our journey.  Everyone here, of course, hopes for a natural birth.  Epidural is a dirty word.  We prefer to use Midwives and doulas.  We talk about options.  We discuss expectations. 

"Don't feel guilty," Marney says, "If you plan and the opposite happens.  Ultimately it's up to the baby.  Sometimes babies need a little help.  Sometimes a baby needs to be airlifted."

Quiet laughter.  We love Marney.

Class ends with a birthing video of women delivering naturally.  Two of the births just happen to occur in the Black Sea and Marney is quick to add "Please, don't think I'm suggesting you all go all the way to the Black Sea to deliver.  Just watch their bodies.  Study their faces.  See their bliss.  These are women who have not gone into their pain but ABOVE it." 

I have never seen a birthing video, and I quickly realize: I have missed out.  I watch a woman breathe while her husband kisses her neck from behind her.  They float in water, arms and legs entwined.  Luscious smiles escape her lips.  Midwives whisper into her ears and caress her skin.  Is it wrong to be turned on by Russian midwives?  I find the whole scene strangely erotic. 

Another montage shows us a whole family in what basically amounts to an over-sized fish tank.  Again, the husband kisses his wife's neck.  Or massages her hands.  She takes long, deep breaths.  The kids bob up and down and stare at...well, Mom's vagina.  I'm just waiting for the butler, the maid, and the gardener to take off their clothes and join the fun.

Babies deliver.  Families swim and touch.  The music swells.   We pull back. 

The ocean spreads out before us. 

Marney turns up the Ipod.  The music pours from the speakers.  "Birth is connecting to your heart."

Then we close our eyes and sing.  The room vibrates with our mantras.

We breathe out.  One.  Two.  Three.

Beautiful.  Perfect.  Healthy. 

And it's time to go.

Someone could punch me in the face, and I wouldn't care.  I'm on a high, on a a high, on a high.  Sienna must be doing somersaults.

Swim my little, baby, swim. 

Comments

[Kerri Anne]

This was awesome.

It's hitting me now that "beautiful, perfect, healthy" could be an amazing mantra for pretty much everyone, all the time.

[preTzel]

Uhm, well, I've given birth four times. It hurts. A lot! The first three were natural. I wanted to die and die again. And again. The first was induced, the 2nd and 3rd came on their own terms, and Baby was induced. Baby was big. 10#14oz big. I would have died because he was stuck and it took them FIFTEEN minutes to wrangle the rest of his body out after his head came out. The head emerged at 1:10 but his official birth time is 1:25.

Pain is good. Sure, you're going to have an end result of a baby - but the real pain hits at about 13 years old or so. Get an epidural when they hit 12 and you'll be fine. Otherwise - breathe, count, breathe, count, and keep your sense of humor.

Laboring is easy - peasy - it's the raising that will hurt. :D

[Rachel M.]

Oh preTzel!!! My baby is two months old and just weighed in at 10lbs 12oz - I look at her and cringe to think of birthing a baby this size. I'm so sorry for you!!!

Um Papa - those birthing videos are a big lie. Suggest that you tune into the wonderful baby channel on directTV where you can see some really fun births! Yeah, don't get stuck in lala land. I did prenatal yoga and it definitely helped me breath through the contractions but the pain was real and vivid. I had a natural birth and the only plus thing about it was being clear minded when they handed me the baby. If I had had a long labor, the drugs would have been definitely necessary.

And tell the tattoo woman that unless she gets a tattoo for 20 hours, OR EVEN 8 hours (my husband got one on his back that took 8 hours of straight tattooing) then I will give her props for pain management. Otherwise, shut up, shut up, shut up.

[penny]

I was my sister's partner (do they still call them coaches?) for her 1st birth (she was 16) and she did really well with the pain. I think the drugs helped with that. But they also put her to sleep before she could hold the baby.

I was also a partner/coach to a friend of mine who was pregnant with her 3rd (her other 2 kids were 1 and 2) and planned to have minimal drugs like the other 2. You know how on TV or in movies you see the nice, calm, quiet woman in labor and then soon she is screaming profanities in her need to get some drugs already? Yeah, that was her. And then some. I had never heard her use those words before! She must have learned them from me.

If I could have children I would love to try a water birth, but I would probably be screaming for the drugs eventually.

[Black Hockey Jesus]

Thanks for sharing that with me. We seem to be of the same skeptical temperament so it's extra special when we manage to let go and be caught by something.

I always smirk when some hot yoga girl talks about bliss. You know what I'm saying, Papa?

[PAPA]

Kerri Anne - I find myself saying "beautiful, perfect, healthy" a lot...especially watching the Olympics

preTzel - Ana has nominated you to replace me as our "funny friend"...We'll get you a ticket to LA...

Rachel - I have no tattoos, so imagine the pain I can endure...

Penny - I like water, too.

BHJ - You know the quote "the path split and i took the road that was less traveled." that was like me at the yoga center. the super toned yoga girls were going one way and us pregnant folk we're going another and i said "Babe, are you sure we're supposed to be going THIS way?" She said something like "I have gas." ... Or maybe it was "You're an ass." Hard to tell.

[Amanda]

I'm so glad to hear ya'll are going the natural route. My first two were natural and the 3rd induced. I would go natural any day over an epidural. Of course I must say my labors with the first two weren't so long. Gracie was about 3 1/2 hours from first pain to birth and Sarah was 1 1/2 hours. Colin on the other hand was induced and took like 26 hours. Imagine a pregnant, anxious, woman not eating for 26 hours. Insane!

I will agree that the videos make it seem too easy but it is good to go into with the mindset that you ARE going to do this.

My husband and I went to Bradley classes. The book we got was very informative in regards to natural childbirth. You can get it at any bookstore- Natural Childbirth the Bradly Way by Susan McCutcheon.

[Alison]

Ah, Papa, I miss you.
Tell Ana she won't even remember the pain.
You on the other hand, will be scarred for life. I hope you don't plan on more than one.

Be strong. Miss you tons. Hope your plants (in the office) are dead.

Love you
mean it.
ali

[Wendy]

I intended to have an epidural with our second but they couldn't get it in. So I was totally not prepared for the pain. At the time I was nearly out of my mind from the pain, and I don't really remember the birth, but in retrospect, it was bearable. And then it was over, just like *that!*

I found you over on Sprite's Keeper, by the way. I like your blog!

[texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana]

This is very sweet and a very different picture from my one and only childbirth class when after the birthing video I raised my hand and asked why the women didn't take drugs. The room grew hushed and their was a lot of eye aversion...

I will have to admit to being totally in love with both yoga and all three of my epidurals. I am very complicated.

[insanemama]

Happy Birthday Papa Bear