Spin, spin sugar

Ana and I are having a debate.  It's about leftovers.

Imagine you have a Baby Shower and your neighbors bring food.  Lots of food.  Imagine the party is over and you have leftovers.  Lots of leftovers.  Do you bring the leftovers BACK to your neighbors?  Or do you eat them and return the empty plates (washed, of course) at a later date?  Before you answer, let me add one final twist: we are talking a culture smorgasbord.  Brazilian, American, and Armenian.  For example, what is the leftovers protocol in Brazil?  Do they say "Nice party, great time...now give us back our leftovers."

What do YOU do?  Take the quick poll.

Ana's convinced we should bring the leftovers back.  Her logic is: "There's so much food, therefore, they want it back."  Even though I've learned Pregnant woman are always right, I waver.  "Whoa, if you bring the leftovers back they might perceive that as an insult like 'Your food was good, BUT I'm giving it back to you.'...Let's just finish it".  Ana says "No, no, no" you weren't here.  They want it back."

How can I argue against something that I wasn't part of?  Actually, funny enough, people do it all the time.  Welcome to Corporate America.

So we gather the leftovers, all four trays of them, and take them back. 

Ding!  Dong!

Our neighbors open the door and stare at us with blank faces.  Ana, unaware, starts to hand them the food. 

Our neighbors: "Those are for YOU." 

Ana grabs the trays from my hands and puts them on their table.  "I know.  Thank you.  We like them so much that's why we want to share with you because you have a big family and you didn't get that much."

Did I tell you Ana's major was marketing?  She a master spinner.  (Oh and Sienna's really craving chocolate wafer cookies lately.)

Anyway, back on scene.  Confusion.  Awkwardness .  Papa the Peacemaker, a role I was born to play, springs into action.

I pull out paper and pen.  Every peacemaker, every adept peacemaker knows: switch the focus, switch the mood.  I pass the pen around. 

"Can you do me a favor, please?" I say, handing one of the girls, the shy-est and most likely to comply, the blank piece of paper.  "Can you write your names down because we're sending out thank- you cards, and I want to make sure we spell your names correctly." 

Well, guess what?  Their names are not Yseult, or Cimberleigh, or Edwinnah -- you know, difficult names -- so now not only have I insulted them, I've made a complete ass of myself.  Like I don't know their names.  They look at me with blank faces.

Crickets in the background.

Switch the focus, switch the mood.

I point to the white bakery box. "That cake you brought was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.  Where did you get it?"  Which leads (slowly) to "We have their business card" which leads to "Awesome!" which leads to "Do you want more cake, we bought it for you?" which leads to "Yes, please  -- oh, (the light goes on) and a big, big slice of that five layer jello." 

-- PAPA

Special Thanks to: Nvard, Silvia, Margarit, Anna, Lucy, Karine, Nvard, Maria, Yvonne, Leticia, Dani, Silvia, Hana, Adrianna, Patricia, & Michelle.

Comments

[Carri]

Sorry, but I'm with Ana on this one!

[Character Builder]

What I usually see done in circumstances like this, is to offer the people to take back whatever they brought BEFORE they leave the party. That gives them a chance to take it or tell you that, no, they'd rather leave it for you. I think it would be uncomfortable to return the food after the fact. I'm with you.

[Carrisa]

It depends. If I was going to give it back to them I would just do it at the end of the party. I wouldn't wait and do it the next day or the day after.

Unless somehow I was talking to them on the phone about how I couldn't possibly eat all the leftovers and then offer them or let them ask for some.

But I could not just show up and be all "hey here's some leftover food"

[penny]

I think most of the time if people want their food back, they take it when they leave. (Except for those people who leave their food and then bitch to someone else that you kept it.)

We have a lot of big family parties (which is probably a little different) and it's usually: take back some of yours, and take a little of everyone else's. Of course my mom's motto is "No one is allowed to leave unless you take some food with you."

[amanda]

I believe Penny summed it up nicely. We usually do the same, take a little of yours and a little of everyone else's. I have never brought food to a party and expected to take it back.

[Kelly]

I'm totally with you on this one!! I guess that proves that women aren't ALWAYS right! Just don't tell Brad!

[Rachel M.]

I grew up collecting whatever was brought to the party at the end of the evening. My parents attended a very social church so it happened enough for me to assume it was protocol.

2 years into my current job, Colombian boss threw a dinner party. I was living in California at the time and brought my favorite Sangria wine. You've probably seen it in stores, it comes in a rounded bottle that is the volume of 2 regular bottles and cost around $4.99 ~ $5.99, the next size up is a gallon - that was the only size available. I lugged it in the house knowing my host was a self appointed wine connoisseur but didn't care because I liked it. The entire party went by and no one opened it so at the end I hunted it down and took it home. I assumed they didn't want to put up with a gallon of cheap wine.

Later I was told by boss that he and his wife had a good laugh about Americans lack of manners how amusing they found it that we took the wine home. What exactly is the appropriate approach to a boss who has just called you out on lack of manners???

And is there a website for learning proper manners of Latins???

Whatever ... for the record if you come to my house for dinner, take your food home with you. I don't care how good it is, I don't have room in my fridge and I don't want to wash your dishes and deal with the hassle of returning them.

[preTzel]

Okay look. You're poking fun at poor pregnant Ana and that's just not nice. :D At all.

1. If people bring *you* food then *you* keep it or ask if they'd like to take some home as they are leaving and not after they've already gone.

2. The woman is *always* right even when she's not. Remember that. *Always*.

3. The notepad? The pen? Heh. Totally LMAO because I thought "They're so going to catch on..." and you didn't disappoint. Does your forehead hurt where your hand slapped it?

I love commenting here. Be prepared - I'll do it a *lot* and I will probably side with that poor innocent woman you got pregnant. LOL! :D

[PAPA]

Great comments, everyone. I just remembered somthing else. How bad does it suck to go to your favorite restaurant and FORGET the leftovers? The rest of the scene plays out something like this:
(Four hours later)
"Honey, you know what really sounds good right now? Those Chinese noodles we had for dinner. You want to get them for me?"
"Um...honey...I thought YOU got them."
You didn't get them!" "Honey, I'm hungry!...Oh, honey, now I have to eat peanuts!"

[Carri]

Ooops, I must have been half asleep in the wee hours when I read this last night, voted and posted. I said I was with Ana on this, but I thought that Ana wanted to keep the food. I just realized my error.
However, she's probably right 99.9% of the time.............but not on returning the food. I still think she's the bomb, though.

[Leslie]

If guests don't take the food they brought with them when they leave, it's for you. Where I'm from, when you return the plates, you return them with something you made (cookies, brownies, whatever).

[Karl]

You don't give back leftovers. I was taught that's insulting. Eat them, throw them away if you don't like the food, and then wash and return the dish.

[liz]

before the party's over, or when the guest is leaving, i offer to wrap up some goodies for them from the entire spread.

but i also have a totally unreasonable fear of leftovers. as a rule in my home, leftovers do not pass my lips. they go directly to the husband and the toddler. (with the only exceptions being stews and meatloaf, which are always better on the second day.) i'm sure it has something to do with growing up poor and eating the same friggin meal all week.