For all my new Readers...A PAPATV Picture Tutorial

Once upon a long time ago, a dashing James Papa and a dazzling Kathleen Reger came together, got married, and celebrated their love.  And celebrated again.  And again, and again...and six more times until a most beautiful thing occurred.

They had a baby boy: ME. 

Boy was my Dad glad to have a boy.

I was a very happy boy.  My future was bright.  My kitchen floor, too.

Mom and Dad must have been so happy with me because they kept celebrating and celebrating and soon there were three more of us.  My mom shouted each one out to the world. Grandma yelled "Hot, Damn!" and threw another one of our pictures on the fireplace mantel.

We were your typical Midwestern family growing up in the 80's with your typical car, typical house, and typical red shutters for that house.

We even had a dog, too.

Actually, that's me in an Elephant costume Mom made for Halloween.  My sisters loved playing dress up.  Me -- not so much.

We grew up quickly.  Mom taught us good values: how to respect others, finish what's on your plate, sit up straight, and write your name really, really nice.

Midwesterners love the word nice.

On our very first vacation, Mom bought me a camera.  A big, big camera.  A Polaroid.  She said "See Dad's boat.  Take a picture of it.  And Dad's sideburns.  Take a picture of that, too.  Take lots of pictures, so you can remember it when you're older."

But first she wanted to take a picture of me WITH my camera. 

Mom's favorite expression was "Drink your milk, "Drink your milk."  I asked why and she said "So you can be tall" and I said "How tall?" and she said...

As tall as the Xmas tree!!!  (Mom didn't really say this.)  Besides, it was a fake Xmas tree.

And then when things were sailing along and everything was smooth and hunky dory, something totally unexpected came along and smacked us in the face: Mom got breast cancer and died.

Just like that.  Gone.  I stopped snapping photo's.  I went inside.  I cried.  Cried.  Cried.  How do you go on playing when you've lost your loudest cheerleader? 

Picture: an empty soccer field.

But life goes on...and I moved to New Yawwk.  I was going to be a screenplay writer...or something.  Who moves to New York to write screenplays?   But I did pick up a dog, a real dog.  I called her Nikki. 

Nikki's the shit.  And she could hold her shit until she determined whether a girl I was dating was worth her shit or not.  Then she let drop.  And always in the loser's home court.  Nikki's loyal like that.

I 9-6'd briefly at a Non-profit but the non profit part of my paycheck was too abysmal, so I left.  On my way out, I made a friend named New York Steve who would later become Sacramento Steve but not before he was Hawaii Steve. 

I waited tables, so I could wait...to make up my mind about "What next?".

Meanwhile, I took pictures.  I was down.  But not down and out.

Searching, more searching, all the way to the Land of the Lost Free Spirits.  Where else? 

LA.

I started writing again.  They say your true path never goes away it just gets buried.  Okay, but where?

It wasn't at Avalon, or Hyde Lounge, or The Saddle Ranch...or Manhattan Beach, for that matter.  And it most certainly wasn't at my new desk job.

Hollywood, you sneaky, little bitch.

Then it happened.  I met Ana..  Immediately, we clicked.  She said funny things like when she brought me coffee in bed the first time I stayed over and said "If you want creamer it's in the fridge, and the fridge is in the kitchen."  She kept spitting out the sayings.  I kept writing them down.  Nikki didn't shit for three days.

Finally, I had someone to share my life with.  But it was more!  She let me be me.  And the stupider and the crazier I was, the more she loved it.

I had found my cheerleader.

We moved in together, we took trips, we shopped at Ikea.

Papa!  Papa!  Where's the pictures?

But don't you see?  I'm writing!  I'm writing!

Then one day at work she called and said "Guess what?" 

And I said, "No, we're not getting another dog."

She laughed and said "Congratulations, Mr. Papa!"

And I said, "Are you sure?"

And she said, "Yes,"

And I said, "Shut the front door!"

Or something Midwestern like that.

And that's when PAPATV began...

You can read the big, big interview here.

So join the celebration and keep reading!  And if you know someone or sixty-two someones who might enjoy a good laugh, email them this link and put in the SUBJECT: Oprah VIP Tickets or Free Chipotle Burrito! or Tax Rebate check!

Trust me, they'll read it.

-- PAPA

What pictures would you use to tell YOUR STORY?

Comments

[Kelly]

Loved the post! Especially the short-shorts and the Captain Donald onesie!

[Mocha]

Aw, man. I can't even think about it what pictures I would use (and I'm behind the camera more than in front of it) because dude! Your SHORTS. They are so, in 1970s fashion, short. Which is a good thing.

[Carrisa]

my heart might have just broken a little hearing about your mom. great post though. love the photos. my life in photos would be oh so boring.

[Rachael]

I just found your blog today through Boobs, Injuries & Dr. Pepper and um... I think I love it.

[The Bug]

I found you through Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper, as well, and I'm very glad that I did!

Not meeting you is yet another reason to be sorry I missed BlogHer again this year...Maybe next year!

[Suburban Turmoil]

Awww, Brian, this is really, really sweet. Love all the pictures and you seem like a terrific guy. I think your mother would be proud. :)

[Amanda]

Such a sweet post. My mom has a trunk full of pictures of me and my 3 sisters growing up. I never get tired of looking at them. I have continued the picture taking legend as I have at least 10 photo albums full of pictures already.

[tangobaby]

I just found my way over here through my pal Gypsy Girl...what a fantastic post. Even though you grew up in the Midwest and I grew up in California, I think we both had the same linoleum in our kitchens. But you had an elephant costume (which is awesome, btw) and I didn't. And you have a WAY cuter dog.

Keep posting photos of Nikki and I'll come back.

[Rhi]

You are freaking hilarious.

[Jenny, Bloggess]

Featured on Good Mom/Bad mom on the Houston Chronicle: http://tinyurl.com/5m4rgg

[Anissa@Hope4Peyton]

Oh that was GOOD! And I am full of bubbling respect for Ana. Where do we get the link to HER blog?

[foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)]

This was all kinds of fantastic! You've got the gift, my new friend. You are already firmly entrenched in my Reader, and I look forward to enjoying so much more!

[mommypie]

What a fabulous storyteller you are. I can't wait to read more!

[jennyonthespot]

This is great :)

[texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana]

So where is the Chipolte burrito coupon?

[chris]

Came via Tapdancer. My name's Chris. Nice to meet you.

This was very enjoyable. I'll be back!

[texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana]

Yeah! If you hadn't linked to this I would have hunted you down. I love it.

Thanks so much for linking today!

[Colleen - Mommy Always Wins]

Dammit - typepad ate my comment!

Anyway, I may just "borrow" this idea for a post of my own...this was fun to read (and see pictures of) your life.

[Debbie]

Well, this is my Wednesday gift. Finding your blog. If all of your posts are even a fraction this great, I'm hooked. And...Captain Donald. You are a very self-confident person to wear that, be photographed in it, and put in on the net.

[jill]

I am so glad I got to meet you! Now where's my coupon, dammit? GREAT post. Sorry about your mom. Really.